Big Yellow Taxi

A wise person once told me, "Isn't it amazing how much more we appreciate something when we have to go without for a while?" While they were referring to thumbs, I'm referring to just about anything. The little things we take for granted, such as: hugs, serious conversation, scriptures, song, math, english, etc. We don't realize how much we use the little things in life to build our successes. It is truly by small and simple means that great things come to pass.

I never really understood why there are so many songs about heartache and sorrow when there are so many good things in the world. Why be sad when there is so much joy to be had? Then I am cheerfully reminded almost everyday through little acts of pain or loss. Sadness is just a part of life. It doesn't mean we are evil. It simply means...well...I guess I don't know the answer to that one I just know being sad doesn't make us a bad person. It doesn't mean we are being punished for sin or transgression, we are just sad. You know what? It's okay. Even our Savior wept. He wept with his friends for their pain. He felt sad. Prophets of old have felt sorrow. Does that mean they transgressed? I think not.

On a more positive note, life couldn't be better here in the Happy Valley! Tia, Jenna, Sarah, Hailey and I went karaoking at Pirate Island tonight. It was an absolute ball! Of course...by the time we got up on stage, everyone had left for the night. But man! We were entertaining! Before that, I had work in the Tanner building. Have I ever posted about my job? I absolutely love it!! My boss is great! My coworkers make me smile. Everything is just wonderful! Before that, Jenna, Sarah, and I checked out local sports stores looking for frisbee golf frisbees! We found Cabelas and let's just say we fell in love with it! So many cool things to see and fun things to do. They have it all!

Well, now you're caught up on my day. I hope you enjoyed it!

Moments

There are moments in our lives when we feel like we can't make a difference. Where all we have going for us is our own selfish interests because the world won't accept our helping hand. So what do we do? Give up? Indulge long hidden and sometimes petty self interests? Get angry. No!

There is a song recorded by (in my opinion) inspiration. It is this song that I share with you now.

Moments
By: Emerson Drive

I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I've had my moments
I've had my moments
I've had my moments


Now...I realize the tone of the song is kind of sad but I want to point out the hope I found in it. The homeless guy was at the end of his rope. He had nothing left. Yet, he was still able to help a young man realize the mistake he was making and turned him around. Help can come from anywhere. We needn't think we are ever helpless. We all have our moments of pain and sorrow, but they don't have to last forever. :)

I can't believe I haven't told you all these stories yet! Let me begin by saying this past weekend was absolutely amazing!!

Our ward went down to Manti to watch the Mormon Miracle Pageant. Afterwards we went up to Fairview to spend the night and the next day at the Thorns's cabin. (If you don't know the Thorns, he is in the bishopric and his wife is just an awesome lady.) The pageant was a blast! Nothing beats the simple, cheesy, yet inspiring messages found in some LDS works. We got a picture with Brigham Young, Zerahemnah, and Captain Moroni! (Title of Liberty Captain Moroni) Apparently, Zerahemnah is a musically Christ-like teddy bear. Who knew? Captain Moroni and some extras, that's who!

The cabin was amazing! It is astounds me the strength and peace that can be found on the mountains. It makes sense that prophets of old would have gone up into the mountain to speak to the Lord. There is a peace and tranquility found there that just can't be found any where else. We went four-wheeling, canoeing and crazy card gaming! Talk about fun!! Taking the four-wheelers up to the ridge to overlook the whole valley gave me a whole new perspective. Well okay, not entirely new. But it was gorgeous. I definitely could have stayed up there for another few days at least. Easy.

So FHE today was fun. We went to Nickel City!! Oh my goodness!! So much fun! We decided the Spongebob game was the place to be if you wanted lots of tickets. Austin ended up with a cap gun because of all the tickets he had! Crazy? Oh yeah!

Well, seeing as it is late, I suppose I shall just have to turn in for the night and then blog more tomorrow.

O My Father

Okay, don't tell me you didn't see this one coming.

Happy Father's day!

This post I would like to dedicate to not only my own father (who, by the way, will probably never read this) but to all those wonderful men in this world and beyond who have been fathers to all of Heavenly Father's children. I address my grandfathers and uncles, teachers and friends. I address those who have yet to be fathers but hold their priesthood worthily enough to be a great dad. I also want to address leaders and examples who provide that example in leadership. Thank you. All of you.

So in church today we discussed one special Father and Son and the sacrifice made on our behalf. One particular part of the discussion that really hit me was the emphasis on the words "infinite atonement". Do you realize that the Atonement is infinite? That doesn't just mean that it lasts forever and helps everyone forever. It means that it will never run out! It continues to pay for every sin, affliction and pain we encounter. We can repent multiple times! Now why would we be given such a tremendous gift? Because Heavenly Father is our Father. Because Jesus Christ is our Father because we take upon us His name when we are baptized. A father would do anything for his children. He is the protector and provider. He will help his children in the best way they know how.

My dad is a pretty special guy. He has always been my hero growing up. I can't really express how much I love and appreciate him. All I have to say is, I hope my future spouse is at least half the man my father is. I could be content with that. :)

Good Time

Oh my goodness!

Those are the words of a girl who had possibly the greatest time of her life last night. For those of you who didn't know, Tia, Jenna and I went to Pirate Island to check out the karaoke night. Oh. My. Goodness! It was so much fun! I had no idea that singing a song I love in front of complete strangers could actually be enjoyable. The best part was watching my friends sing. (I think the people there thought we were drunk. All we were drinking was water, I promise!) Tia got so into it, it was rather entertaining. That girl has got some moves on stage, I'll tell you what. Jenna looked like she enjoyed herself too. Her voice fit her song so perfectly, it was really funny. We were told that we looked like a stoplight because of the colors we were wearing. I was red, Tia was yellow, and Jenna was blue (but I suppose in the lighting we had it could have looked like teal). It was great fun.

Afterwards, we were so hyper we decided to have a dance party. No one we invited came but it was still a lot of fun! Tia then got a text from a friend to play Fugitive. Fugitive, for those who don't know, is a game played in the dark. For my family, it's like Run my Sheepy Run, without all the yelling in the middle. We thought we were going to watch the movie, "Fugitive" with Harrison Ford, so we didn't exactly dress for it. We were super bright colored and in flip-flops. Needless to say, we got caught...haha. I normally don't like most night games but this one was super fun! I can't wait to play it again. :D

So, all in all, nothing really profound this morning, just thought I'd share our story from last night. Now you know what we do when we're crazy on a Thursday night.

All You Need Is Love

Have you ever wanted so badly to share something but feared if you did it would make the wrong impression? Of course you have. We all have. Tonight was one of those times. I would be remiss if I didn't share so I shall blog.

Love is a beautiful thing. It is all around us, trying to fill us up with it's immeasurable power. Waiting for the moment when we just open our doors and let it in, full force. We can't see it, per say, but we can see manifestations of it. It is in a touch, a warm smile, a helping hand, a swift compliment, an act of service, a simple prayer. Love is power. Love is pure. With it, we are united. Without it, we are divided.

How can love not be our ultimate goal? Because there are whispers in our mind, telling us it is a childish dream. Foolish errand. It can't really happen. No one is that pure.

I have a surprise for you. There IS someone that pure. There has been from the beginning! His name is Jesus Christ. He is our Savior, Redeemer, Brother, and Friend. He loves us.

These are my thoughts. They are few today but very prominent in my mind. I realize I need to practice bearing my testimony more so here is my opportunity. Not because anyone else needs to know, but because I need to know. When I know that I have a testimony, I can continue to build my faith. Who knew that you could and should have a testimony of bearing your testimony? I certainly didn't.

Remember that it is okay to love. In fact, it's quite healthy. Love and be loved. What else matters?

Lessons Learned

Happy Sabbath readers!

Today has caused me to stop and reflect on the many ups and downs life has in store for us. These changes in emotional/spiritual altitude do not just occur hour by hour (or if you're like me, minute by minute) but gradually through our lives. (Disclaimer: What you are about to read is an over exaggeration created by myself. It does not mean I assume EVERYONE'S life experience is like this.) We start out as children, ignorant and blissfully happy. The world is our playground. The biggest concern we have is whether our brother or sister will take our favorite toy. Then we enter school.

Whoa. It's like nothing you have ever seen. Rooms just filled to the brim with other children with a single goal in mind: Learn new stuff! (It's okay to use "stuff" here because we don't yet know that specifics are important) Elementary school is filled with bright colors, new experiences, new people to interact with, and all sorts of fun things to entertain as well as teach. But then something happens. You find yourself not quite enjoying those super cool toys you had in Kindergarten or 1st grade. You want to spend more time reading, playing sports, or video gaming. You aren't content with the kiddie table anymore. You start to notice what you wear. Mom and Dad suddenly don't seem so smart. Middle school has begun.

Now I don't know about any of you, but middle school definitely marked the beginning of a large decline in my life. You get there and realize those bad things you heard about when you were little really do happen. You are confused by people's actions. Everyone seems to have something to prove...but why would they want to prove anything? People become more adamant that you really can't do all that you know you should be able to. Faith and self-assurance gets attacked, hard. You realize there is a separation between people; usually according to talent, money, or physical appearance. Of course! How could you not have seen it before? You have to be in the "in crowd"! Otherwise people will think ill of you. People's opinions matter people! They rule your life! It's not your own! What are you talking about? You know what you're talking about. You are definitely smart now. Enter high school.

You've done it! You finally reached the greatest part of life! You are a full-fledged teenager. Now while you KNOW you couldn't possibly turn into an angsty, self-absorbed teenager because you are so sweet and kind, the just doesn't understand the way you communicate...you are determined to be treated like an adult. Now everyone knows that adults get treated with respect by their actions. But what does a poor, inadequate teen do when their actions are less than respectful? Oh yeah! You make yourself look better than the next guy. Of course! That makes sense. Like really, you think just letting people push you around will gain respect? Um no! You have to speak out! Your voice must be heard! Oppression of the teenage population must end! You never knew just how hard it was to be a teen. You're under your parents rule. You don't get the respect you deserve. You worked so hard to reach this stage and it's not at all as happy as it looked 5 years ago. Oh well, you suppose that that is just how life goes. Right? "Bad things happen and there's nothing you can do about it, right?" (if you can guess that movie and finish the quote I'm so buying you your favorite candy bar!) Good thing this high school thing is going away fast. Now you get to move on to your real life!

College! (Yay! This is me!) Now you've finally made it. You can finally do what you want to do, when you want to do it! It's about time! Oh wait...there is rent to pay? You still have to go school? The professors are so intelligent. They aren't anywhere near as nice or helpful as high school teachers. You can't extend that deadline for me? Oh...you know that excuse eh? You have to study? What is this nonsense? Who decided college was a good idea? Why do you need more than a diploma? You know basically everything you need to survive in this big, bad world alone right? Who needs to explore outside what you learned in high school? You don't like learning like you did as a child. You didn't know anything then. You were young and naive. Learning is NOT fun. Maybe next year will provide better insight to why college is important.

Wow! You sure were a dumb freshman. Now you have to go back and clean up the mess you made. Hmmm...well, you suppose the best place to start would be with your grades. Retaking classes and picking majors, all of it makes you feel good. Like you are finally owning up your life. You meet a guy and he seems pretty swell. (Oh yeah, did I mention you are female? I contemplated making this non-gender specific but the dating thing is pretty important here too. Don't worry! Almost done! You're doing great!) Maybe he'll be the one and you'll live a long, happy life together. That doesn't work out. You meet another guy. He is even more amazing than the other one! Maybe HE's the one. Nope. Well that's it then. You're done. All the boys here in college just can't handle the awesomeness that is you, you guess. Who wouldn't want to keep you forever? Your parents do but we know how much you really want to live with your parents again...(no offense intended for those who DO in fact live with your parents. I, personally, would go nuts.) Well, that's it then. Either no boy is worthy of you, or you just aren't good enough for them...how depressing. You'll be single forever. No you won't! Yes you will. Um, no. There has GOT to be a man out there that you can trust with your heart. The second year passes.

Thus commences the summer between your second and third year. Seeing as this is where I am, this is where I will stop for I cannot consolidate personal experience with outside accounts if I don't have personal experience to use. Do you see the ups and downs? There are periods of confusion and light. Moments of peace and despair. The teenage years seem to be the most filled with confusion. The more I grow, the more I believe the phrase, "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know." These periods of change help us to see the good in comparison to the bad. "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things" (2 Ne 2:11) Otherwise, we could't feel just how wonderful it is to be happy if we don't know how awful it is to be sad or angry.

The lessons presented in church today followed this self-same pattern. In Relief Society we talked about the life of Christ and how He has inspired our lives. That was the happy part. In Sacrament meeting, the talks that stuck out to me dealt with the Atonement. Remembering Christ's sacrifice for us made me happy, but sad at the same time. I really shouldn't dwell on the pain He went through and remember the love that pushed Him to go ahead with it. It amazes me the love our Savior has for each and EVERY one of us. He knows us by name. He knows us by heart.

"Greater love hath no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you." (John 15:13-14)

We are His friends. He wants to help us, so He will do whatever He can. (hint: That's everything!) All we need to do is ask. Use our agency to make our own choice but then ask Him to make up the difference when we fall short.

I guess I've written enough here so I'll just close with my testimony. I know our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ know each of us individually, by name and by heart. They want us to live with Them. They love us. I know by and through the Atonement, we are able to live with Them. I know there is hope for ALL people. There is infinite worth attached to every soul. I know trials play just as big of a part in the Father's Plan as do blessings. Trials try our faith, making it stronger. We prove ourselves daily through trials.

Thank you for reading today. I suppose I'll talk to you tomorrow! :)

Because I have been given much...

Now I KNOW I would be remiss if I did not share the absolute joy I feel with all of you today. Today has been one of those days that makes you want to shout from the mountaintops how greatly blessed you are. All the stresses in my life just found themselves resolved. (Yeah, greatly blessed) I got the title to the Jetta so I can officially sell it. I found my checkbook. Work was productive today. I was sore after weight lifting. Overall, been a good day. :)

So Leah and I were having a discussion last night about this so I thought I'd open the floor for further thought. What do we do to improve our communities? How can we (by "we" I mean college kids) get involved with our community? I have always been told that now that I'm in college, it gets to be all about me. Well, pardon my illegal knowledge but I already knew it was all about me. It's been all about me for about 20 years now! It's someone else's turn! I want to give back to this community we call BYU. I want to improve the quality of life, be a part of something. Does anyone else think we should be doing something? Maybe I'm just a naive girl from a small town but it seems to me that even large communities require people working together to function well. I don't know, shoot me your thoughts! I'd love to hear them! :)

Facebook!!! Rabble rabble grr grr!

What a beautiful day it is here in Provo. The sun is shining. It's not too hot. The breeze is heavenly. But wait! Where is Shavonne? Oh, right. She's in her apartment, on Facebook.

How many hours do we spend on this social networking site (or any site of it's kind for that matter)? How much of that time could we spend on better things that improve our lives and the lives of others? How much of that precious time could we spend in the service of our fellowman? Well I say, ENOUGH! What can Facebook offer me that I can't find somewhere else? People who know I exist purely through the web poking fun at me and calling me friend? People who want in on my circle of friends in hopes it'll boost their reputation? People? Well, I'm done. Today I begin my Facebook Fast. Today marks the beginning of a new Shavonne Fielding. One who likes electronic technology but won't make that her focus in life. She will serve, work, school, and socialize in the REAL world. She will develop her gift of communication, both written and spoken. She will NOT become a hermit, enslaved by her addiction to Facebook.

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. Seriously though. Facebook Fast starts today. I will go one week without that crutch to lean on. I'll let you know how it goes. Look! I found a goal! (For those of you who don't understand this, I have an assignment for one of my classes that I have to set two goals for my academic career and set a plan for them. You'd think that'd be easy right?)

Well, that's all I have to say on the subject of Facebook. Thank you for reading. Please come back for more! Since the readers I have currently know me so well, you know this is definitely the last outburst you'll hear from me.

Vegas trip part 1

Hello everyone!

I'm back! Oh my goodness and do I have stories for you! Unfortunately, I only have about 15 minutes to write this post so I'll have to share only a couple.

So Las Vegas is a very hot place. By "hot" I really do mean temperature. Boy do they know how to run their air conditioning down there. The highs all weekend were above 100 degrees! It was just a little toasty. I'm sure that if I had stayed long enough to get used to that kind of heat, I'd be freezing right now in Happy Valley. If any of you ever find yourselves in such a situation, I have one bit of advice for you, DON'T LEAVE YOUR STUFF IN THE CAR! Oh my goodness! It melted my water bottle and made my stick of deodorant do something really weird.

I went to Vegas to Steven's baptism and Sarah's blessing, just in case you didn't know why a good girl like me would go gallivanting off to Sin City. It was great to see all those guys again. I finally got to hold Adam! (I didn't get to for his blessing because I was sick...:/) He is such a cutie! Sarah looked positively angelic in her little blessing dress. Poor girl was sweating up a storm though. Long dresses were not meant for the desert. Steven had a sharp little suit. Once church was over though, he quickly abandoned that in favor of an inside out black hoodie. We tried to convince him he would melt away but he insisted. I think he was trying to be a ninja...I don't know. Little Annie was sure to let me know just how much she loves her "Auntie Shavonne" (We're cousins but she insists I'm her aunt. *shrug*) She basically stayed near me the whole time I was there. She is so cute. I now have all those kids' email addresses so we'll be able to keep in touch a lot easier. :D

Well, my time is up. I'll have to fill you in more later...(whenever that is)

Vegas!

Hello readers!

Well, today I leave for Las Vegas for a double whammy of awesomeness! First, Spencer (my cousin) is going to be baptized on Saturday. Second, Sarah (also my cousin) will be blessed on Sunday! Isn't that just terrific? One definite plus about being here in Utah is that I am able to actually attend these things. I can't wait!

Now, you know what this means though, right? I probably won't update this for a couple days. I know, I know. I just started this yesterday! Now I'm going to take a break? Weak sauce! Let me explain. I don't think I'll have time to update while with family. I just never think about the computer when I'm in that situation. Sorry. But you'll definitely hear from me on Monday! :D

I probably should be shopping for snacks and stuff now so that I can just take off when the time comes...except then I might miss my class and that won't be good. I need to find a swim suit...looks like a Wal-Mart trip to me.

Well, I suppose that's all I have for you now. Better eat breakfast then finish packing. This'll be a road trip to remember!

Day in the life...

Now that I've properly introduced myself, I'll set the stage for what future posts will be like.

7:00am: Awakened by a phone call. O.O
9:00am: Weight training (ouch!)
11:00am: Country Dance class (I've decided that I'm not a huge fan of the waltz...)
12:00pm: Work! (Custodial in the Tanner. Afternoon shift is the place to be yo!)
5:00pm: Ward temple trip (best place in the world! Really!)
7:30pm: Picnic in the canyon
11:00pm: BLOG!!

Now aren't you glad you got an hour by hour play-by-play of my day? ;) I tell ya, it's interesting to look back on what you did in a day on an hourly basis and see just how insane you are! (I realize this is cake compared to some of ya'll's schedules. I'm sorry if my whining causes offense.) I don't think I've had this much variety in my life for about two years! Absolutely amazing. :)

So I don't think I'll update my blog this late anymore...I'm so tired that I don't think I'm making any sense in my writing. Maybe I'll write after work instead...Hmmmm...trial and error right? So now I bid you all "Good night!"

And so it begins...

After long and hard deliberation, I've decided to start my own blog. No, it's not because I need my voice to be heard. No, it's not because I expect to make a difference. I want my family and friends to know what is going on in my life and what better way to do so then through a blog? That way, I'm not held accountable for information they may have missed in my life...right? Yeah. Right.

So, let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Shavonne Fielding. I am the daughter of David and Randi Fielding. (Best parents in the world! Yeah, it's true.) I have five younger siblings, making six kids in our family. (Also the best siblings in the world. You'll get to hear a lot about their accomplishments and just how I feel about it.) The order of appearance on this earth goes like this: Shavonne (That's me!), Sadie, Aaron, Alex, Suzannah, and Stephanie.

I am currently a student at Brigham Young University (Go Cougars!), studying print journalism. Okay, so I'm working toward studying print journalism. I apply in January. Talk about stress! Anywho, I've been here about two years now and have just about all my GEs wrapped up.

I attend the BYU 117th Ward in the BYU 15th Stake here at...you guessed it...BYU! (For those of you not so familiar with this lingo, it means that I am a member of th Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka LDS, Mormon, Awesome (oh wait...that's not necessarily a synonym...oh well, it's true just the same ;) ) The people here are just great! My bishopric is amazing! They have done a great job making me feel like at home here. The people in the ward are also great! From day one in this particular apartment complex I have felt fellowshipped and comfortable. I had almost thought that that kind of fellowshipping could only be found in Charlestown. I love being proven wrong regarding human nature! (If you have any questions about any of the words I use, feel free to text/call/email/talk/contact me and I'll explain. Don't worry, I won't convert ya. ;) )

I love to dance. Really! Teach me a type of dance and I will be happy. :) So far I have learned Lindy Hop, Charleston, Country Swing, Jazz, and some ballroom! I'm absolutely loving every minute of it! Granted, I'm taking a slight break from routinely dancing. ( I haven't actually shared this with all my dancing buddies yet...) There is something to be said about having too much of a good thing.

Okay, so reading back through this, it looks almost like a cross between a single's ad and a mini bio on myself. I guess it is supposed to be the second one...but I thought it was funny so I pointed it out. Hahahahaha.

With that, I think I'm going to wrap this up. Mostly because if I don't hurry up, I'm going to be late for my class. Stay tuned for future posts on my great but rather extraordinary life!

=)