Here I hit a wall. I feel the need to blog but find that I have little or nothing to say. It's that feeling you get when writing a paper for school. You know it's due the next day but you don't know what else you could possibly say! Except this should be my thoughts and experiences and those never end.
The days that have passed since my last post have been somewhat of a blur. We had a three day weekend but I couldn't tell you what I did. When I look back, all I see is a haze. I'm self-diagnosing a mental/emotional virus. Others might call it "falling into a funk." Whatever it is, it makes "press[ing] forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men" (2 Nephi 31:20) rather difficult to do, especially in the mornings. As I typed that, my mind flashed to an experience of another young person who simply wanted an answer to a question. When he asked, he said he was seized upon by some being from the unseen world. Could this be my seizing moment? It is hard to fight, to be sure, but it came so subtly I almost didn't recognize it. Maybe that is why Mormon describes the devil with words like subtle and crafty, lying in wait to deceive.
Now I know what I'm fighting. It's amazing how much more free I feel with this knowledge at hand. I can/will pick myself up and dust off my bent shoulders. I will give my burden to One who can carry it. I'll keep you posted on how this develops in the coming days. =)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Aaaand We're Back!
It has been brought to my attention that the release that comes from writing only happens when...well...you actually write! Allow me to elaborate where I've been these last 2 years!
I had the grand opportunity to serve my God with my whole heart, soul AND time for 18 months in Long Beach, California and the surrounding areas. This was a time of great excitement, learning and growing for me. I taught, cried, plead, and learned more than I could ever put in one blog post. This was all I had ever wanted to do with my life. That was it. I was satisfied. Now...I'm home, back to school/work/sociality and frankly, haven't got a clue what to do next.
This I do know, life is hard. Hard, trying, confusing and even a bit disappointing at times. But despite the hardship and let-downs, there is hope. "This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the time for men to perform their labors." (Alma 34:32 This is a time of preparation! Preparation means mistakes can be made. Why can we make mistakes? Well, let me tell you. We make mistakes in preparation so that when the time comes to actually perform, we know where the mistakes are so we can avoid them. This is a process of learning, no? Learning sometimes requires trial and error. This video gave me a good idea about the kind of attitude we should have. :)
Now you might be asking yourself, "why in the world is she spouting on about this?" Let me clue you in. Yesterday I woke up feeling sick in the head, heart, and stomach. I had a slight fever and I had little to no strength to get out of bed. I was worried, plus I had too much to do to let something like "mental illness" keep me down. After a long crying session and going on a roommate-bonding excursion, I started feel a little better. As soon as I stopped moving, however, the wave of depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I'm not a depressed person. I am probably too ridiculously happy for my own good sometimes. This unbeatable depression was really worrying me. So I solicited a priesthood blessing from a good friend of mine. After the blessing, I felt a blanket of peace wrap around my shoulders, giving me strength enough to do my homework and be a normal person for a few more hours.
Then came time for work. I work at the Missionary Training Center (fondly known as the MTC) as a teacher of English-speaking missionaries. As soon as I entered the MTC, I felt that wall hit me again. "Oh no! Not again! I need to have the Holy Ghost to teach these missionaries! I can't be bawling my eyes out. They won't know what I'm saying!" When I entered the classroom, I felt panicked. I prayed and plead with God to tell me what to do. The thought that came, "let them have a real experience. Let them teach you." So that's what we did. They taught me, well, more comforted me. They used all the knowledge and experience they had to help me get through this trial I was enduring. Never in my life have I felt so grateful for the blessing of the Atonement and the power of God's servants in my life.
From this experience, I learned that one must rely on God, friends, family and even acquaintances to get through this crazy thing we call life. I needed a crutch and I wasn't using it. I thank my Father in Heaven for providing that opportunity for me to learn.
Now I will continue to post. I want to keep the world updated on my life and the wonderful life lessons I learn. I hope that my experiences will prove beneficial to all who read.
I had the grand opportunity to serve my God with my whole heart, soul AND time for 18 months in Long Beach, California and the surrounding areas. This was a time of great excitement, learning and growing for me. I taught, cried, plead, and learned more than I could ever put in one blog post. This was all I had ever wanted to do with my life. That was it. I was satisfied. Now...I'm home, back to school/work/sociality and frankly, haven't got a clue what to do next.
This I do know, life is hard. Hard, trying, confusing and even a bit disappointing at times. But despite the hardship and let-downs, there is hope. "This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the time for men to perform their labors." (Alma 34:32 This is a time of preparation! Preparation means mistakes can be made. Why can we make mistakes? Well, let me tell you. We make mistakes in preparation so that when the time comes to actually perform, we know where the mistakes are so we can avoid them. This is a process of learning, no? Learning sometimes requires trial and error. This video gave me a good idea about the kind of attitude we should have. :)
Then came time for work. I work at the Missionary Training Center (fondly known as the MTC) as a teacher of English-speaking missionaries. As soon as I entered the MTC, I felt that wall hit me again. "Oh no! Not again! I need to have the Holy Ghost to teach these missionaries! I can't be bawling my eyes out. They won't know what I'm saying!" When I entered the classroom, I felt panicked. I prayed and plead with God to tell me what to do. The thought that came, "let them have a real experience. Let them teach you." So that's what we did. They taught me, well, more comforted me. They used all the knowledge and experience they had to help me get through this trial I was enduring. Never in my life have I felt so grateful for the blessing of the Atonement and the power of God's servants in my life.
From this experience, I learned that one must rely on God, friends, family and even acquaintances to get through this crazy thing we call life. I needed a crutch and I wasn't using it. I thank my Father in Heaven for providing that opportunity for me to learn.
Now I will continue to post. I want to keep the world updated on my life and the wonderful life lessons I learn. I hope that my experiences will prove beneficial to all who read.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Love Story
Hello readers.
I'm sure that if this were paper and I were to be using a pen you'd hardly be able to read what I write. I just watched the cutest chick flick in my life and I simply had to write about it.
For those of you who don't know, there is a movie out on DVD and Blu Ray called "Letters for Juliet." When I first saw the previews for it, I thought it looked cute but pretty much like every other romantic comedy I'd ever seen/heard of. Well, while shopping with my mom today, she happened to mention that that was one of her new favorite movies. When I said I hadn't seen it yet, she marched right over to the movie counter and bought it. (That tells you how highly she regards that movie.)
I just finished watching it. How can I even describe it? It was possibly the most romantic movie I have ever seen! The storyline was perfect. The characters were well portrayed. The scenery was gorgeous! All I was missing was a plate of my favorite mushroom tortellini on my lap to munch on. I'll have to remember that for next time.
The best thing about the movie was the message of hope. The woman, Claire, is searching for her Lorenzo after receiving a letter from Juliet, written by Sophie. They search and they search all over the Tuscany area trying to find Lorenzo. As predicted, Sophie falls out of love with her side-tracked fiancée and into love with Claire's grandson, Charlie. Oh yeah, did I mention Claire hasn't seen her Lorenzo for fifty years?
What makes this film great is that no matter how many disappointments they run into, Sophie manages to keep up hope for Claire and Lorenzo. Now I'm sure you can guess that Claire eventually finds Lorenzo but then Sophie goes back to New York with her fiancée! Now how is Charlie supposed to marry Sophie if she isn't even on the same continent! (Claire and Charlie are from London btw.)
Because it's a romantic comedy, you know everything turns out alright but the constant suspense and surprise problems make this movie and truly delicious film. I'm so glad I got to watch it.
Of course, now that I've given you the storyline, let me tell you how I really feel about it. I. Love. It! It taught me that to live life with a bunch of "What if"s on your back is no way to live life at all! You can't keep thinking what if I had tried to make that work? What if I had actually done what I wanted to do? Granted, you can't be totally rid of EVERY "what if" but you certainly can pick and choose.
For instance, I have made the choice to serve a mission. Now I can wonder what if I hadn't served a mission as much as I please, but if I were to stay, then I'd always wonder. What if I had served a mission? Where would I be? Who would I know?
It is these thoughts I want to share today. Thanks for reading!
I'm sure that if this were paper and I were to be using a pen you'd hardly be able to read what I write. I just watched the cutest chick flick in my life and I simply had to write about it.
For those of you who don't know, there is a movie out on DVD and Blu Ray called "Letters for Juliet." When I first saw the previews for it, I thought it looked cute but pretty much like every other romantic comedy I'd ever seen/heard of. Well, while shopping with my mom today, she happened to mention that that was one of her new favorite movies. When I said I hadn't seen it yet, she marched right over to the movie counter and bought it. (That tells you how highly she regards that movie.)
I just finished watching it. How can I even describe it? It was possibly the most romantic movie I have ever seen! The storyline was perfect. The characters were well portrayed. The scenery was gorgeous! All I was missing was a plate of my favorite mushroom tortellini on my lap to munch on. I'll have to remember that for next time.
The best thing about the movie was the message of hope. The woman, Claire, is searching for her Lorenzo after receiving a letter from Juliet, written by Sophie. They search and they search all over the Tuscany area trying to find Lorenzo. As predicted, Sophie falls out of love with her side-tracked fiancée and into love with Claire's grandson, Charlie. Oh yeah, did I mention Claire hasn't seen her Lorenzo for fifty years?
What makes this film great is that no matter how many disappointments they run into, Sophie manages to keep up hope for Claire and Lorenzo. Now I'm sure you can guess that Claire eventually finds Lorenzo but then Sophie goes back to New York with her fiancée! Now how is Charlie supposed to marry Sophie if she isn't even on the same continent! (Claire and Charlie are from London btw.)
Because it's a romantic comedy, you know everything turns out alright but the constant suspense and surprise problems make this movie and truly delicious film. I'm so glad I got to watch it.
Of course, now that I've given you the storyline, let me tell you how I really feel about it. I. Love. It! It taught me that to live life with a bunch of "What if"s on your back is no way to live life at all! You can't keep thinking what if I had tried to make that work? What if I had actually done what I wanted to do? Granted, you can't be totally rid of EVERY "what if" but you certainly can pick and choose.
For instance, I have made the choice to serve a mission. Now I can wonder what if I hadn't served a mission as much as I please, but if I were to stay, then I'd always wonder. What if I had served a mission? Where would I be? Who would I know?
It is these thoughts I want to share today. Thanks for reading!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Question to the Reader!!
Alrighty folks!
You hear so much from me, now I wanna hear from you.
I want to conduct research in the area of dating and attraction. Why? Because I'm a single woman with a curious mind, that's why.
So, here's the question:
What makes a member of the opposite sex attractive to you?
This is for guys and girls so don't be shy! I'll be posting my thoughts after I read yours.
You hear so much from me, now I wanna hear from you.
I want to conduct research in the area of dating and attraction. Why? Because I'm a single woman with a curious mind, that's why.
So, here's the question:
What makes a member of the opposite sex attractive to you?
This is for guys and girls so don't be shy! I'll be posting my thoughts after I read yours.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
There is Peace
It never ceases to amaze me the constant awareness our Father in Heaven has for each and every one of His children. Tonight we had a fireside that greatly helped put my mind and spirit at ease. The past few days have been a bit of a trial for me. It seems that as the time draws closer for me to report, the Adversary sends more of his forces to try and stop me. Day by day I found myself more and more in a constant state of indolence and impatience. After all, there is simply too much for me to do to get ready for this mission thing. Why did I ever think I could possibly do it all in one month?
Well, my friends, let me tell you what I learned today. Elder D. Todd Christofferson, member of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave the lesson in the fireside tonight. He spoke on living our lives day to day as opposed to getting caught up in the terrifying possibilities of the future. My dad put it well when he said, "Why spend all our time worrying about a future that may or may not actually happen?" I cannot describe here all the things I heard and felt. I'm still trying to digest it all. Needless to say, it has changed my perspective on my current state of living. Sure, I'm back with my parents again, but that doesn't mean I can't still progress. It's just a different way of progressing.
I know it's short but there were a lot of very personal things that I learned. I tried to put them down here and they just wouldn't come out. Therefore, you're getting the CliffNotes version instead. Happy week everyone!
Well, my friends, let me tell you what I learned today. Elder D. Todd Christofferson, member of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave the lesson in the fireside tonight. He spoke on living our lives day to day as opposed to getting caught up in the terrifying possibilities of the future. My dad put it well when he said, "Why spend all our time worrying about a future that may or may not actually happen?" I cannot describe here all the things I heard and felt. I'm still trying to digest it all. Needless to say, it has changed my perspective on my current state of living. Sure, I'm back with my parents again, but that doesn't mean I can't still progress. It's just a different way of progressing.
I know it's short but there were a lot of very personal things that I learned. I tried to put them down here and they just wouldn't come out. Therefore, you're getting the CliffNotes version instead. Happy week everyone!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Celebrate
Now what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't blog about the coming of the New Year? I'll admit, I was a little apprehensive about the party this year. It seems the longer I am away from here, the less and less I feel like I fit. Nonetheless, Heavenly Father constantly shows me examples of love and kindness in ALL of His children. My family has made some wonderful friends out here.
Now that that has been said, allow me to fill you in on all my adventures for this new year!! (Don't worry, it'll be brief...or it should be)
I have learned so much already I'm pretty sure I could burst. First lesson, obsession that causes you to look back longingly is NOT healthy. I don't actually have a detailed story to share with you but suffice it to say that once your obsession creeps into your dreams and taints treasured memories, something has got to change.
Another lesson learned is the importance of patience, tolerance and love. If we are not patient when things don't go our way, we make ourselves and those around us miserable. At least I know I do. Perhaps it's just the way I handle impatience but I'm kind of annoying when I get that way. I can only imagine how I sound to/affect the people around me.
In other news, I have 25 days left in the "real world." That means 25 more days to get myself to the level I need to be to serve to the best of my ability. Sometimes, that seems like tomorrow. Other times, it seems like an eternity. How can I possibly pass that much time away productively? I'll just have to get creative I guess.
Anywho, thank you for reading today. I'm sorry there isn't much depth but then again, this blog IS just the ramblings of a girl lost in thought. I hope you all enjoy your first Friday of the new year!
Now that that has been said, allow me to fill you in on all my adventures for this new year!! (Don't worry, it'll be brief...or it should be)
I have learned so much already I'm pretty sure I could burst. First lesson, obsession that causes you to look back longingly is NOT healthy. I don't actually have a detailed story to share with you but suffice it to say that once your obsession creeps into your dreams and taints treasured memories, something has got to change.
Another lesson learned is the importance of patience, tolerance and love. If we are not patient when things don't go our way, we make ourselves and those around us miserable. At least I know I do. Perhaps it's just the way I handle impatience but I'm kind of annoying when I get that way. I can only imagine how I sound to/affect the people around me.
In other news, I have 25 days left in the "real world." That means 25 more days to get myself to the level I need to be to serve to the best of my ability. Sometimes, that seems like tomorrow. Other times, it seems like an eternity. How can I possibly pass that much time away productively? I'll just have to get creative I guess.
Anywho, thank you for reading today. I'm sorry there isn't much depth but then again, this blog IS just the ramblings of a girl lost in thought. I hope you all enjoy your first Friday of the new year!
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