Scatterbrained Much?

I'm sitting in my grandma's house thinking to myself, "Self, remember when you started a blog and wanted to record funny and spiritual stories?" Self replies to I, "why yes I. I do remember that." 

"Then Self," I inquire, "why did you stop?" 

"Well, I, let me tell you." To which Me promptly steps into the conversation.

So not to whine about my life, but things have been a little rough the past few days. Mostly because I've been incredibly confused and haven't been able to resolve that confusion in my brain. What's even more crazy is I couldn't tell you what I'm even confused about. I'm just confused. 

I was talking to my friend about my confusion when I came to a realization. I told her I felt like a lost and confused soldier. Well, when a soldier needs direction, don't they turn to base for orders? Why don't I just turn to base?

I did. In fact, I was reminded that I do frequently. That can be a source of the problem. Now before I get judged for my heresy, hear me out...or read me out? The Lord gives this statement in the Doctrine and Covenants, "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward." (D&C 58:26) I get to some places in my life where I pray to be commanded in all things. I don't know how to proceed so I ask and ask for specific guidance. The answer comes as a, "have faith and do something. I'll tell you if it be right."  I was told that whatever will happen will happen and that I shouldn't be too concerned about it. (I've been receiving the advice, "Don't worry so much" a lot. haha). 

On the flip side, however, I also wonder if it isn't simply a matter of patience. Have I done all I can do? Now is it simply time to wait and let what may be, be? I have not come to one definite answer yet for this question, but rather I feel like the Lord is teaching me as per His usual, "line upon line, precept upon precept." I am currently wrestling with two major questions, What does the Lord want me to become? and How can I better teach/serve as the Savior did/does? In my studies regarding these two questions, I have come to learn that to answer either of these questions, I must act in faith. Faith, as one missionary defined it so well for me, is courage. Courage to do what needs to be done, whether we see the end result or not. It is this courage, combined with patience, that I am striving to develop this week. I thank my loving Father in Heaven for wonderful friends/family who help me stay pointed in that direction. More importantly, I thank Him for sending His Son so that I may have the power of the Atonement to draw upon in times of struggle. I cannot travel this path alone. 

Thank you for reading my musings. I'm feeling so good, I might just include a poem. :)