Scatterbrained Much?

I'm sitting in my grandma's house thinking to myself, "Self, remember when you started a blog and wanted to record funny and spiritual stories?" Self replies to I, "why yes I. I do remember that." 

"Then Self," I inquire, "why did you stop?" 

"Well, I, let me tell you." To which Me promptly steps into the conversation.

So not to whine about my life, but things have been a little rough the past few days. Mostly because I've been incredibly confused and haven't been able to resolve that confusion in my brain. What's even more crazy is I couldn't tell you what I'm even confused about. I'm just confused. 

I was talking to my friend about my confusion when I came to a realization. I told her I felt like a lost and confused soldier. Well, when a soldier needs direction, don't they turn to base for orders? Why don't I just turn to base?

I did. In fact, I was reminded that I do frequently. That can be a source of the problem. Now before I get judged for my heresy, hear me out...or read me out? The Lord gives this statement in the Doctrine and Covenants, "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward." (D&C 58:26) I get to some places in my life where I pray to be commanded in all things. I don't know how to proceed so I ask and ask for specific guidance. The answer comes as a, "have faith and do something. I'll tell you if it be right."  I was told that whatever will happen will happen and that I shouldn't be too concerned about it. (I've been receiving the advice, "Don't worry so much" a lot. haha). 

On the flip side, however, I also wonder if it isn't simply a matter of patience. Have I done all I can do? Now is it simply time to wait and let what may be, be? I have not come to one definite answer yet for this question, but rather I feel like the Lord is teaching me as per His usual, "line upon line, precept upon precept." I am currently wrestling with two major questions, What does the Lord want me to become? and How can I better teach/serve as the Savior did/does? In my studies regarding these two questions, I have come to learn that to answer either of these questions, I must act in faith. Faith, as one missionary defined it so well for me, is courage. Courage to do what needs to be done, whether we see the end result or not. It is this courage, combined with patience, that I am striving to develop this week. I thank my loving Father in Heaven for wonderful friends/family who help me stay pointed in that direction. More importantly, I thank Him for sending His Son so that I may have the power of the Atonement to draw upon in times of struggle. I cannot travel this path alone. 

Thank you for reading my musings. I'm feeling so good, I might just include a poem. :)

The Purpose

Today is why I needed to do this project. Well, one of the reasons anyway.

Funny story:
I actually had trouble coming up with one for today. I had a little help to remember though. The funny story for today comes from my experience in the MTC. While I was in the MTC, we were informed that we would be taking on an experience to humble us and help us rediscover the purpose of missionary work through action. We chose a companion to teach with and were then given the opportunity to teach an investigator. Now it feels like I haven't done this in a long time...because I haven't so as soon as the announcement was made, I was terrified! How could I teach? I was so out of practice! The sheer nervousness it brought up in me just caused me to laugh. It looks like I'll be practicing hard core these next couple weeks.

Spiritual story:
Heavenly Father teaches us "line upon line. Precept upon precept." Sometimes the answer we are looking for  is simply buried in a serious of answers. When we finish one line, another line is brought before us to take on. Sometimes we want the full answer, the big picture, all at once, right now. We are very impatient creatures. What we fail to realize in our hurry to gain knowledge is that that knowledge had been coming to us the whole time. We are promised that if we are good and do all we know we should, knowledge and understanding will "distill upon [our] soul[s] as the dews from heaven" (D&C 121:45). When we get too hasty, we forget what we have already learned.

Oh my goodness! This is why the prophets in the Book of Mormon are always telling us to "remember"! How can doctrine gather like a morning dew if we forget what we have already received? The purpose of learning is to build on what has already been given. If we throw what we have been given aside, on what foundation shall we build?

Thank you for reading. I pray the Lord's blessing on you. =)

Count Your Many Blessings...

"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed.
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost.
Count your many blessings name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done." (LDS Hymnbook #241)

Funny story time:

I love people. They sincerely and dearly want to help in any way possible. The problem with being the one in distress, it's hard to tell what they can help with. Today I was in a bit of distress. It's the kind of distress that only time can really heal. Time and a good attitude I should say. But, because people are so wonderful, they want to help. So my funny story of the day is this, how many times can a girl hear "This must mean there is someone even better out there for you." before the day is through? Any guesses? The answer is roughly 10. That exact phrase. This is where my brain reminds me, "it's the thought that counts."

Spiritual story time:

This also involves my distress but in a good way. When I become distressed, I reach a point where I feel like I can't do anything anymore. This phantom-like pain runs through my spine and I can't shut off the water works in my eyes. It was in this state that I felt to call upon the Lord. "Heavenly Father!" I shouted from within my agony, "I can't do this alone. Not tonight. Please, if you will, just hold me tonight. Send an angel or 20 to just hold me!" (Yeah so maybe I was feeling a little melodramatic.) As soon as the prayer was closed and my covers folded over my shoulder, I felt a feeling of great peace, almost smothering but in a comforting way. When I woke up this morning, I felt great. I was well rested and eager to begin the day.

God loves His children. He doesn't prevent heartache and sadness, but He knows what we are going through and will always be there with a shoulder to cry on. Just as the prophet Nephi said, "Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?" (2 Nephi 4:23-26)

It is important to remember the good things in life when storms beat upon you. So count your many blessings and the Lord will show you how blessed you truly are.

New Beginnings

I love the feel of a new semester. You get new roommates, new classes and new experiences to explore. Starting off a new semester is always an interesting experience for me. Starting off with a responsibility in the church this early just adds to the adjustment madness. Just like a new transfer on the mission, there are goals to be set. I have made a goal to make this semester a sacred yet fun experience. I intend to use this blog in order to do just that. I want to take this next week and write a post EVERY day. (I know what you're probably thinking. "but you said you were going to do that a different time and you didn't do it." Cut me some slack. I'm a changed woman!) In each post, I'm going to tell the story of my day. You could say I'm going back to the roots of this blog. Each day I will share a fun story and a special story. Sacred stories will be staying with me.

Here goes my fun story:

So I ran up to campus after work today to practice my guitar with a piano in a practice room. I felt so good walking up with the sun shining down and some dark clouds in the distance. I figured I'd only be there for an hour or two so I wouldn't need a jacket to prepare for the storm that was rumored to show. After working for about an hour I decided it was time to head home. I looked outside and about cried. It was pouring! I was not prepared at all. My umbrella was at home and I had no idea if my cover for the guitar was really THAT water-proof. "Oh well," I thought, "It looks like I can either wait it out or just plow on through." I chose option B. After getting thoroughly soaked, I finally made it home. I decided it might be best to not go outside anymore. That was my funny story for the day.

Here is my more spiritual story:

Lately I've been feeling a bit of a drag in my spiritual sensitivity. Something has been using up my resources.
I couldn't figure out what it was. I'm not in classes anymore. I'm with a great guy. I have a great family. There was not logical reason for my inability to keep my emotions together...or was there? I was walking up to campus to watch the weekly devotional just thinking. I was thinking about when I could call different family members because I hadn't talked to them in a while. I had the plan beautifully orchestrated in my mind. Then an impression came to my mind. "When was the last time you went to such lengths to have a conversation with your Father in Heaven?" Oh dear...I stopped, literally and stood for a brief second. When WAS the last time I had seriously planned out a time where I could just communicate with God? Sure I read my scriptures. Sure I prayed often. But those had started to become rote, repetitive. When had I just talked with Him? Talk about being humbled.

Want to guess what the topic of the devotional was? If you said prayer, you'd be close. The speaker actually talked about the Holy Ghost. In a world where instant communication is not so new anymore, we too often forget or take for granted the precious gift of the Holy Ghost. He talked about using technology for our benefit and not allowing it to use us. It takes a conscious choice to not take that text right away or focus on the people in the room rather than those on your social media site. I felt a need to make a lot of changes in my life.

Well it's a bit choppy but that's what I have today. Thanks for reading. :) Tomorrow will be a new adventure. Today is a lesson to be learned from.