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Monday, February 25, 2013

Crazy Things...

Don't know where that phrase comes from but I find myself saying it a lot nowadays.

Forgive my MIAness. I had an incredible weekend with a great deal of learning. I know I promised my thoughts on the previous post's talk so I'll start with that.

I want to start with this video. We talk about our trials sometimes coming from our choices and mistakes. My biggest trial is letting go of what I've done and moving on. I fix it immediately, sure, but I'm not as quick to forgive myself as I should.

Now how does this relate to Elder Richard G. Scott's talk about finding our way back? Let me take you through my thought process. 

Lately my thoughts have been taking me to the word grace. The Bible Dictionary defines grace as, "an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts." After reading that talk by Elder Richard G. Scott, my understanding of grace just deepened dramatically. It really is never too late to repent and come back because of the grace of God!

I was having another one of those downer days where everything just seemed to be crashing in on me. My thoughts went something like this, "Come on Shavonne! You have got to pick up the slack. You can't keep hiding out behind your laptop pretending your stress doesn't exist."

"But," I insist, "life has gotten too hard for me to handle. Everything I do/touch just falls apart. Why go try to change now? I won't be able to do it anyway."

Me interjects here (I and Me argue a lot in my head. I warned you this would be crazy.) to say, "Now you know that's not true. Just because it has seemed that way in the past doesn't mean it is true. You have changed already Shavonne! Don't let this get you down!"

It was at this moment when I pulled out my planner to get my thoughts out of my head. I have to do this every once in a while or I break down in uncontrollable sobs. I was at work. This is what came out on paper, "Why? Why allow yourself to sink into despair? You have a tender heart and a great responsibility to not forget your God. (Now I know why the brother of Jared was chastised for 3 hours) Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Shake off the chains of the evil one and stand tall." There are times when I write that the words the come onto the page are not my own. This was one of those times. I was then guided to Elder Scott's talk when I came across this passage, "Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. (See 1 Ne. 22:26.)" Now here comes the moment where I give thanks to my Father in Heaven for being mindful of me in my situation. I needed comfort AND counsel and He gave it to me. Then He confirmed it through the words of a prophet, seer and revelator.

Now I know, with all the feeling of my soul, that God is mindful of His children. He knows we make mistakes. He knows some of us, namely me, get lazy sometimes and then fall into habits that are less than conducive to effective service in His kingdom while also having fun in the great BYU experience. Those habits won't just change themselves though. We need to start now to make those changes. There is a reason we call this the life experience. It is through our experience that we truly learn and change. Experience doesn't happen without action.

I hope this makes sense. I certainly feel better having written this out. Thank you for reading! May you find your way back to Christ when you stray. 

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