Home again!

Looks to me like I haven't dumped my thoughts and impressions of life on you for a while. I apologize profusely! Let me catch you up real quick on the events of my life.

I have recently returned from a week long trip back to my family in Indiana and boy! What a trip! Shall I tell you how it went? Well...okay. ;) So it started off with my own fault, sleeping in. Missed my original flight but managed to snag a later flight with no additional cost. (Somebody REALLY wanted me home.) Upon arrival to Kentuckiana, I immediately contracted "Contact Dermatitis" (the condition of touching and reacting to poisonous plants like Poison Ivy or Poison Oak.) and went to the urgent care center to get treated. I was given some powerful drugs and instantly untouchable for the following week. (makes playing with the younger kids kinda difficult.) Then I went to the eye doctor to find out I have infiltrates in my eyes. Guess what that means! More drugs...yay. If that weren't enough, my brother has legs of steel, causing my poor little toe to get pretty badly bruised for a couple days. My mom says I just shouldn't go home anymore. It's just cheaper that way. Haha little does she know...

The trip wasn't all bad though. Not by any means. It was wonderful to be able to see my family and share in their crazy life. They have been renovating their house for the past three months now so they have been living with my aunt and uncle. In case you didn't know, that is a lot of people in one house. It works out pretty well though. Everyone is very accommodating and self-sacrificing. Only in a family filled with love and the Spirit could pull this arrangement off this well I've decided. I also got to see a couple good friends and talk to more good friends. All-in-all, the trip was well worth it. :D

I learned some really great lessons today. It's amazing what the Lord has in store to teach you when you're not looking for a lesson. Or even what He teaches you when you are looking for a lesson. I'll have to explain that more tomorrow though when it is not so late and I am finished with schooly things.

G'night world! Thanks for reading. :D

I Am a Child of God

Enter girl and guy, slow dancing while meeting for the first time.
Guy: What's your name?
Girl: Jane
Guy: That's nice. What are you doing here?
Girl: Going to school.
Guy: That's cool. Where are you going to school?
Girl: BYU
Guy: Nice. What's your major?
Girl: Communications
Guy: Wow....why Communications?
Girl: (thinking in her head) Why not? Too many questions about life! Head exploding! Oh. My. Gosh! (out loud) It sounded like something I would be interested in. I really do enjoy it.

Thus is the generic first meeting at a dance. So many questions with pretty straightforward answers.

This past week has made me think. What am I really doing here? What are my true motives for the things I do? How can I give my life over to my Savior if I do not know Him like I thought I did?

Do any of these questions sound familiar? Let me share the answers I have learned, all in a culmination of one glorious Sunday morning. :)

What am I really doing here?
Well I've realized that this is far too broad of a question. The word "here" alone has many meanings, each one very different depending on the context. (Gotta love the English language) Let me narrow it. What am I doing at BYU? I am here to learn. Learn what? Learn how to write well, socialize with poise, work in a professional manner, work through mathematical equations, and simply be happy with myself. What am I doing in Provo? Attending BYU. What am I doing here on Earth? I came to gain a body to house my spirit and gain eternal life. (So simple isn't it? Why complicate the good things in life when they make more sense in simpler terms?)

What are my true motives for the things I do?
Does anyone else question their own motives sometimes? In the scriptures we are told to pray "with real intent" but sometimes I wonder if my real intent isn't as real as I would like to believe. There were many powerful talks given in Sacrament meeting today that helped clarify that for me.

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. ~Alma 32:27

It says here that if we even have but a desire, we just let it work in us. It's like falling in and out of love I would imagine. You see a guy and you think, Hey, he's kinda cute.
Then you go to talk to him. It gets awkward and you're worried that you may have scared him off with your lack of poise and self-control but that desire to get to know this guy helps you overcome that. Armed with your desire to know this guy, you invite him to a group outing. Then it progresses to a date or two, then you find yourself really wanting to spend more time with this guy. It's been kind of bumpy so far because of first meeting awkwardness but your desire pushes you onward. Finally, you realize you two are compatible, he pops the question and you live happily ever after. Happy day!
The same thing works for our motives. I learned that all I need to do is replace my desires with good ones. Once that is done, my motives will always be pure. Again with the beautiful simplicity!

How can I give my life over to my Savior if I do not know Him like I thought I did?
Trust is a hard thing to have. Trust is fragile and not easily put to use. The answer to this question wasn't expressly answered in a talk so much as it came as a reminder through evidences expressed in the talks. (Does that make sense? I hope so.) One talk was about the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. At first I wanted to tune it out, but there was a great point brought up. (or I could have just imagined it...) We have been given standards to live by, not to ruin or dull our lives, but to thrive and grow through. By living our standards, we show that we are replacing obedience as an irritant and making it our quest instead. We are promised great blessings for doing this by Latter-day prophets.
It could only be by love that we would be asked to stand so far apart from the world. It is in our best interests. Our Savior and Heavenly Father know us well enough to give us hard things. Through our afflictions and tribulations we grow strong. If they know us that well, we had to know them at least a little bit before coming here. They were, and should still be, our best friends and caretakers. They don't require much from us, just our faith. Sweet simplicity.

So I realize this sounds like a scattered version of something you would read in the Ensign or something but I had to get it out there. I hope you learned something here. =)

Until next time.

Sorry readers! I only have a lame excuse for discontinuing the updates on my life. Ready for it? I have been trying to make all my blog posts have a song to go with them, but when I get sad or lonely, music seems to leave my heart. Thus, no song to base my posts on. I told you it was a lame excuse.

Now! What have we missed? Oh yes, I have now joined the ranks of the many people searching for that crazy thing we call a job. Yes, I am on the hunt for work. I will say this, it hasn't been an easy road, but I'm learning many important lessons on this journey. One thing is for sure though, it's great practice for future endeavors. I mean, if my ego can learn to handle rejection when I'm only trying to sell my skills, that's one step closer to my spirit handling people rejecting my religion. It will all work out in the end.

Well, it's kinda late so I'll have to post more another day. Please forgive my inattentiveness.